Saturday: November 14th, 2020.  11:52am 


I'm watching Mikel like a hawk. Since we came back from our date, he has been behaving strange. He has been sitting in the same spot for over 15 minutes, chugging down a bottle of cold beer and occasionally glancing at me. His behaviour is frightening.

"Mikel, what's wrong?" I ask, feeling apprehensive.

He laughs deep and dangerously. He takes his hand to his mouth and keeps it there, staring at me the way a predator stares at its prey.

Mikel and I have been together for two years. Occasionally, he gets like this when I do something wrong. I do many things wrong. He usually slaps me and pushes me, he grabs me by my hair and makes dangerous threats, he chooses the friends I can and cannot talk to, but he apologizes after. He makes promises of change and I believe him every time. Looking at him right now, I have a hard time reconciling myself with the thought of him 'changing'.

"What did I do this time? Oya, just tell me," I plead, my fingers entwined together nervously.

"Who called you when we were together?" His voice is calm. Deceptively calm.

Timothy called me. My colleague, Timothy, called me. I can't tell him that because he gets jealous and possessive when another man talks to me.

"Ah! Is that the problem? It was my sister nau. Diana called. Is that what you're getting angry about?" I hope he believes me. I can't hold his gaze, I look down. In this moment, I know he knows I'm lying.

He rubs his mouth and drops the beer bottle on the table. He stands and I jerk upright and stand too, almost immediately. There's just something utterly distressing about him standing above me, peering down at me. I promised myself the last time that I'd fight back if he hit me again. I remember this but I'm shaking so hard that my legs threaten to give out.

"Give me your phone!" he bellows.

"For what? You don't believe me?"

"Don't make me ask again. Put it in my hand now!" His right hand is outstretched, palm up.

I don't move. Whether I move or not, something terrible is going to happen to me today.

He waits for a beat and then makes a move for the phone. He unlocks it, goes to my call logs, looks through it and throws the phone on the couch. 

At this point, my heart is beating like a native drum. My skin has gone cold and I find myself holding my breath...waiting for the first strike.

He disappoints. He walks briskly up the stairs. I'm not deceived, he's coming back down.

Immediately, I pick up my phone and dial my brother's number.

"Hello? Audiee, what is it?" he asks.

"Hei God! Abeg, abeg! This man is going to kill me. Isaiah, please come to his house now. P-please! We had a fight and I think he's going to do something bad to me!" I'm rapping. I've never talked this fast in my life.

"Calm down. I'm not hearing you clearly. You and Mikel are fighting again? What hap..." I end the call immediately. I can hear him coming down the stairs. He has changed his clothes and he's holding a belt.

"Mikel," I kneel, my hands joined pleadingly, "I beg you. Timothy was only asking about a client. I lied because you get angry when I talk to other men. Please, Mikel. Look at me, please."

"Don't tell me to look at you o! You're a prostitute! You are a very stupid woman. After all the money I've spent on you? After all I've done for you? You're going left,right and center ,talking to men! Have I not given you enough? You dey craze? Are you crazy? I will flog that evil spirit from your body today!" He's shouting now. I can see the veins throbbing at his temple and his neck. 

I'm scared.

As I'm shaking out my hands and thinking of what to say, the strike I'd been awaiting before lands. He punched me. I can't feel anything but the pain exploding behind my eyelids. My face is on fire. I'm furious and I'm helpless.

I struggle to stand up and see him wrapping one end of the belt around his right hand. 

"Mikel, if you hit me with that belt, I promise you'll see only the inside of a prison for the rest of your life," I say, but I don't mean it. I'm grasping at straws and he knows it.

He shakes his head and before I realize it, the belt descends on my neck. The first lash.

I can't take it anymore. I'm in excruciating pain and there's no one here to help. Mikel can kill me here and nothing will happen. I scream and see him wipe the sweat from his forehead. Foolish man! He hasn't even begun and he's sweating, I think.

I see a glint and the beer bottle from earlier enters my line of sight. I gasp, hope blooming in my chest.

He whips me again on the leg, and this has tears streaming down my face. I stand immediately and swiftly reach for the bottle.

"You said you'd change. You said you wouldn't hit me again. You said you were sorry. This is how you're sorry,bah? You want to kill me here,shea? Not if I kill you first! I'm rising to the occasion. Let's fight nau!" I yell. My whole body is burning with so much pain that I want to just curl into a foetal position and cry.

He raises the belt again and I throw the bottle. I don't aim, I just throw. The belt hits me again, just on the arm I'd raised as a reflex. It hurts and I'm fuming now. If I were a cartoon, steam would be coming out of my ears right now. 

I lift up my head ,ready to yell at him again. I don't get to do anything because he's on the floor, still and bleeding from his forehead. The blood is everywhere now. I'm watching it pool around his lifeless body.


I run.